Thoughts of death come on swift,
Like a tightly clenched fist.
If the wound is deep,
blood will seep.
If the thoughts linger,
there'll be an itchy trigger finger.
If the thoughts grow louder,
there'll be plenty of gun powder.
If the thoughts grow quiet,
there might be a chance to fight it.
If the thoughts go away,
then there'll be a promise of a new day.
(C) 2016 Copyright Elena Plotkin
Psychologists claim if you change your thinking, you change your feeling and can overcome a bad situation, The speaker realizes this, which mitigates her peril. But the succession of IF statements set up almost relentless steps toward disaster. Like a drumbeat. But steps toward a positive outcome can set up their own march to rescue. Overall this strikes me as a poem of steady hope and improvement.
Your poem ends with four WHAT IF statements. The first two wallow in self-pity and are extremely dangerous, but the last two show this person changing their thinking so that they derail this dark train of thought. When a person us gripped by negative emotions, everything gets blurred, particularly the danger they're in. Your poem clearly shows that this kind of thinking has be arrested and put in a mental prison so that the person can be liberated from suicidal thoughts.
OR If the thoughts go away..............your brain's blown away! sorry! i'm a badddddddddddddd boy! elena, i noticed (again) a comment you left in 2015; someone recently commented on the same poem. it got me thinking: i wonder what Elena's been up to. i hope not thinking thoughts (seriously) as you write of in the poem. but i've had thoughts of suicide; nothin' serious(ly planned) . i think suicide is a handy tool, but it sure can be messy and inconvenient AND many people frown on it for some reason(s) . ha ha hmmph! well, living can be messy and inconvenient also, plenty of times! thanks for your well-put-together thoughts AND the rhyming. i'll read one more 'recent' one from you. bri :) to MyPoemList
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
thoughts of suicide have come on me for very brief periods in my life, spaced, usually far apart. they always seem to have something to do with a woman. the lack of one in my life, or the threat of losing one who is in my life. they DO come on swiftly! ! it has never gotten anywhere near the point of my writing a suicide note or obtaining a means of my end. if it had, i hope i would have sought counseling. i'd give these tips for anyone developing such thoughts: tell others you trust, who will NOT preach but lend a friendly ear or two. turn on some lights. get involved in an activity one enjoys. this can include ICE CREAM! bri ak Brian :) i did comment previously.