Three Witnesses Poem by Daniel Brick
Three Witnesses
O the moon-days of winter! Snow has fallen.
You leave after midnight, having drunk crimson wine,
the dim precincts of men. The red flame of their hearth
briefly lights the snowy path you tread alone.
Georg Trakl
O clear winter night!
A red deer steps out of the forest.
She stands in a pool of blue light
and watches the lake freeze.
The golden angel of the western sky
beats her vast wings slowly.
Her crystal tears fall
into the same lake
the deer watches. I arrive
at the lake shore. I take
my place under the yellow moon
between these fellow creatures,
one of the land, the other
of the sky, myself displaced,
at home in neither place,
seeking always somewhere to be.
The angel folds her mighty wings.
She bows her head, and the perfect
calm of her face fills me with awe.
The deer turns her head,
she slowly bites a leaf from an ash
and chews it deliberately.
The moonlight is like a tent
which encloses us in a rough triangle.
Above me
the angel hovers over the freezing lake.
Beside me
the deer stands at the water's edge.
Here will I wait
as long as the deer and the angel.
I agree that the imagery in this poem is absolutely stunning, however for me the standout message I come away with is gleaned from stanza 5. We can observe these magical visions, however man has elevated himself above being only of Earth, but not as far as to become part of the sky. We have made ourselves observers of both. But we are able to observe such beauty, and indeed should.
You have not done my poem a disservice. A lyric poem can never make a thorough argument; in fact, argumentation is not its purpose.I agree with your viewpoint, but I yearn for a deep contact with other species and that old Ladder of Being which privileges humanity has to go. It makes rapport impossible. Wordsworth went part of the way when he sensed SOMETHING FAR MORE DEEPLY INTERFUSED. But we have to go further and deeper.
I agree with your final words, but my own belief is that we move ever further from that evolutionary position. I see no ladder of ascent such as you mention. Rather, I see man has removed himself from the equation, to the point where we have become observers. If my natural feeling of separation does your beautiful poem a disservice I apologise unreservedly. One can only draw from art what one is able to assimilate based on one's nature.
You absorbed my poem into y-o-u-r awareness, which complete the poem as communication. don't want to think of animal-human-angel being a ladder of ascent. Each is a form that Life takes and is autonomous, but they will interact on a more conscious, creative level in future evolution. How about that? Interspecies communication would add so much to cultural evolution.
Such a beautiful poem! ! ! Full of imagination. And awesome vivid imagery. Every word is perfect. A very worthy candidate for Poem Of The Day!
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/25/2024 12:29:58 AM # 1.0.0.1119
Hey, Daniel! This is lovely. The pace and diction are stately and consistent from start to finish. The description is vivid. I enjoyed reading this. O the pleasure of reading a man who writes well! -Glen