Time Wounds Poem by Suzanne Hayasaki

Time cuts like a dull knife
Reopening old wounds
Reminding me how often
I have sat in this very chair
Sipping tepid milk tea
Listening to the grandfather clock
Insistently ticking in the entryway
Marking the time I have wasted
Waiting for you to appear.

Once again your card came round.
Once again a cordial visit was requested
Once again mutual friends hinted of your interest
And once again nothing came of it.

Was it a countess with no fortune?
Or perhaps a fortune with no title?
Or perhaps an angelic smile?
Or was it simply apathy
That kept you away
This time?

And so as you stride through your life
Enlivening drawing rooms with your wit,
Enthralling young women with your stories,
Enchanting dance partners with your grace

I will sit stiffly to the side, looking on passively,
No longer naively believing your demeanor
In any way reveals your true feelings.
I will listen to your silky colloquy
With the same smile I have always offered
But my eyes will be as cold as your heart.

I will train myself to see people as they really are
And not what I would have them be
In a world where men were kind
And women were loved
And no one had to wait in vain
For a visitor who never came
Believing it was she and not he
That was to blame.