To Much Poem by faye burford

every day is a constant battle
Devil/Angel
win/loose
self will is no longer an option
as self will
will only distroy
head full of the ways i can self sabatarge
do i care?
give in to the voice of distruction
it's already won
& getting stronger
day by day
it's funny as it's me
i am my own distruction
& with no real motive to change
question is
do i want to change
i get excited by the very thought
& the anxiouty level is off the scale
just do the act
satisfaction of the action
no pain felt
just release & freedom
watching the blood exit
drain away, like the hurt & pain inside
how nice that feeling
but the suffering continues
& the pain is endless
so it all comes down to
To much