To Understand What It Is You Don'T Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

I am not going to understand,
What it is you don't.
Or conveniently wont.

I've been walking on my own path too long.
To experience the rights and wrongs with doubts.
With a making of mistakes to correct them.
And the consequences I had to pay...
No one anonymous,
Appeared from nowhere to volunteer...
They would do it to eliminate my fears.
And those obstacles that suddenly appeared,
Did not ask if I was qualified to face them.

I am not going to understand,
What it is you don't.
Or conveniently wont.

No one has ever taken my hand to hold,
With a proving to show...
They could or would protect me from insults.
Nor was I shown a safe haven to stay,
While I watched from the sidelines...
As they sought with a doing to fight my battles.
And the armor I've been taught to wear,
Has etched on it many names I have been called.

And you 'think' I should be the one to understand,
Where it is you are coming from?
With a listening intently AND with patience done?
You've been giving your undivided attention,
To those who ran and continue to run.
While they skipped over responsibilities,
To leave you to believe I enjoyed that stuff dumped on me.

I never desired to abandon you.
I left to live my own life.
And 'that' you will never understand.
I left to live my own life.
To do it to experience and not to comprehend,
Who you accuse that ran away...
When I was forced on my own feet to stand.

I am not going to understand,
What it is you don't.
Or conveniently wont.
Why should I?
When I have been denied that consideration.
To only hear you say and often,
Who it was that made my life so easy to live.
They must have hidden disguised in trees.
Because on the path I walked...
Just my footsteps were placed with faith I still keep.
And God remains as my witness to this!

I am not going to understand,
What it is you don't.
Or conveniently wont.
You are the one making claims to be a 'Christian'.
I don't.
Or conveniently wont.
And you should not make claims to then put blame,
On others who keep in practice those actions...
You claim are the same but find them to fault.

I am not going to understand,
What it is you don't.
Or conveniently wont.
And I hope one day this becomes clear...
To be understood!