To What Avail Poem by Francie Lynch

We played with sand
Up to our nails,
You swung a swishing pony-tail.
We traversed on unkempt trails,
Took chances out beyond the pale.
Travailed on routes with certainty;
Made more friends than enemies;
Increased and raised our family.

To what avail?

I had time to auto correct,
To re-direct my wayward steps.
To stop the fall from bad to worse,
To put shortcomings in reverse,
To curtail an innate curse.

To what avail?

I heard you promise too.
"In sickness and in health."
I promised the same to you.

To what avail?

I tried.
Lied.
I'm tired.

To what avail?

To this avail.
I remember our first kiss,
The walks, the talks;
You called me funny,
The times together without money.
A tent, charcoal and book of matches,
A midnight campfire, a beat-up car;
When anywhere wasn't off that far.
We'd snatch two days alone
In each other's company.

To what avail?

I tried. Tried.
I lied. Lied.
I'm tired. Tired.

Memories aren't that selective.
There's scenes I can't dismiss.

They're part of me,
They're part of you,
I'd be remiss to discard these few.
They're in the memories I recall,
The good and bad before the fall.
I claimed, There's two sides to every wall.
But still there is the wall.

I tried. Tried... tried.
I lied. Lied... lied.
I cried...cried... cried..
I'm tired. Tired. Tired.