Sean Furlong

Rookie - 0 Points (July 14,1982 / Los Angeles, California)

Tread Water For Her - Poem by Sean Furlong

I've got what you want
you told me to bring it
this box here for you
our ship's cargo
salvaged after wreckage
reminders of a voyage
a trip to Key Largo

What a grand time we'd had
up until that fateful day
the reef hit so suddenly
knocked us out for a moment
things would never be the same

Me, the nautical novice
You, with eyes like the ocean
Us, on a wayward rendezvous
To truly live is to drown in you

Revealed, I've now died
that I can accept
a treasure now kept safe
forever to you it is tied

Comments about Tread Water For Her by Sean Furlong

  • (4/7/2005 5:19:00 PM)

    thank you both for your comments (Report)Reply

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  • (4/7/2005 8:08:00 AM)

    Seems a bit rushed, but salvageable - great premise (Report)Reply

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  • (4/7/2005 6:01:00 AM)

    watch for typos (truely) ...I like the Key Largo reference and that line, 'you, with eyes like the ocean'...a simple line, but it works for me. Also, I'm a sucker for free verse and the use of assonance. good job. (Report)Reply

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Read poems about / on: ocean, water, time

Poem Submitted: Thursday, April 7, 2005

Poem Edited: Monday, May 3, 2010

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