Trick Or Treat Poem by Phil Soar

The trick or treater's knocked our door
I tried my best to hide
And then I saw the ghostly eyes
All peering from outside
They opened up the letter flap
And screamed "we know you're home"
I sat there listening to this crap
And wished I was alone
But they were not deflected
From the task they should complete
Their skills had been perfected
As they wandered up our street
I waited for a little while
And hoped they would be gone
I gently drew the curtains back
And looked out from beyond
The little bastards shocked me
They had hidden by a tree
And as I looked into the night
They scared the shit from me
And so I opened up the door
And played a trick on them
I sprayed them with some custard
Hoping it got rid of them
I hadn't contemplated
That their parents were there too
The night began to darken
The air was turned to blue
The language got a little coarse
And so did my nose too
A father punched me in the face
And broke my nose in two
It left me feeling queasy
My eyes were all a glaze
I should have just been happy
To join this stupid craze
So maybe next October
I'll go out for the night
And then the brats can knock the door
And stand around all night.