Ulterior Motives Poem by David Knox

Why do I get to know you, why am I nice to you?
We'd both like it to because I care
I'd like it to be unconditional, I want to care and be there
For people I barely even know too
But when it comes to you
I cannot seem to be neutral, I cannot seem to control my heart
I cannot seem to direct my thoughts
It's like with you I just see your body
I want to see more and I lose so much sleep
I cry at night because I want it to be more I want to care about you
I DO CARE, but is it for your body, I don't know how to get rid
Of my thoughts, of my real motivation, I can't pretend
It's my love I plan to send
I'm not friends with you for you
I am friends with you for me
I want that feeling
I want to gratify myself
I seriously seriously feel my mask peeling
I never wanted to tell you because I tried to deny it too
I'm sure you'll be denying this yourself
But I've never cried enough tears to feel something is so true
This is true I am full to the brim and overflowing with lust
Sure part of it is because you are attractive
But this is my fault
I can change
And I am wrong
And I like it

I don't want to live like this
I won't stand for living like this
There has to be a way to change
I know I can't change alone
But I'll change I promise

I so done with ulterior motives, but right now that's what I live
That's breathe feelings seep out from my subconscious
And become my conscious and then suddenly all I think about is you
And your body...


Just let me say I'm sorry