What Adam Said... Poem by Crystal Johnson

She walks through the halls unnoticed.
She has friends, but she sits in silence.
People judge her by only appearance.
She knows her own strength, but yet she can’t find it.

“She’s a cutter, she’s a freak”
“She’s a poser, she’s a geek”
All these labels happen to fall,
On this girl that they don’t know at all.

She’s fighting this battle, the hardest one yet.
There will be an ending no one will forget.
She doesn’t have the desire to die
She has the fear of living this life.

These people, they tease her and call her mean names
And joyfully watch the tears fall down her face
They don’t even know her, why are they so mean?
It’s like she is trapped in some kind of bad dream.

One boy, he is horrible, he gets her so stressed
I guess he likes to see her depressed
She just keeps going, ignoring his words
She pretends she’s okay, but really it hurts.

At home it’s no different, nothing will change
In fact, it’s just harder…it all stays the same
The battle goes on, I guess there’s no end
No one thinks she deserves to win.

She’s so weak and fragile, she wants to give up
What is a life if when you know you’re not loved?
She says she’s a burden, they all know it’s true.
Why would they want something that has no use?

They don’t want her here, they want her to die
They wouldn’t care if she had said goodbye.
She thinks she’s unwanted, she thinks she’s no good
If anyone deserves to die, she should.

So she goes to do it, she already has the pills
In just a few moments she’ll forget how it feels
To be in the shadows, and to be lost in the dark
To cry out her loudest, and curse her bruised heart.

She swallows the pills, followed by water
And then the phone rings…someone just called her.
She starts to feel dizzy and falls on the bed
As the message plays that the caller had left.

“Um, hi Carrie, it’s Adam from school,
I’m sorry I hurt you, I feel like a fool.
I didn’t mean all those things I said,
I guess you’re not answering cause you’re probably in bed.”

“But as I was saying…I know I was wrong,
“I did it because I’ve liked you so long,
I didn’t know how to tell you then,
But I promise never to hurt you again.”

“Um, I guess that was it, I’ll see you at school,
You know what, I’ve realized that you’re pretty cool”
The phone was not the only thing that went dead
That night Carrie died and never heard what Adam said.