John Ackerman

What I Never Tell Anyone

today I sit & daze out my window having no regrets sowed seeds of honesty
in humble brevity the words start to get heavy yeah it ain't easy feeling needy
inside I fall behind four walls that blind but in time the magic episode truth be told
have an ocean of thoughts hidden inside the time I was 16 wanted to kill myself
took a noose around my neck but in the nick of time said, "What the heck I'm going to regret"?

years had passed went to work as a security officer but had a bad boss kept putting me down
had a nervous break down went to the hospital started hearing voices diagnosed as bipolar
depression was in my head took I.O.P. classes to help tried for social security put got denied three times...
this time is different this time I'm getting good help want to take you with me on this journey
I suffer in silence as a pawn but I have Jesus so sound the alarm he is my savior & friend

Every day tears flow from my eyes does it come at any big enough of a surprise
just when one storm is done another one is brewing but you know what I'm doing
I'm praying for a break through to come any minute hide away from the tender silence
I see things such as the Alan Parsons Eye over my bed with three cats that hang around me
Inside I hide away from the storm brewing outside so I carry on with silence
I need help to cope everyday accept now I have skills such as radical acceptance
to use my wise mind a brilliant way to let loose any tension throughout my day

Topic(s) of this poem: love, trust

Poem Submitted: Monday, March 5, 2018

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Comments about What I Never Tell Anyone by John Ackerman

  • Seamus O BrianSeamus O Brian (3/5/2018 4:22:00 PM)

    A poignant discourse flowing from the depths of an honest and introspective heart. How difficult it is for the ordinary person to gaze into the depths of the soul and report back with such honest clarity. Your soul may be one in seven billion, but you are wondrously made in the image of God, and He holds you in the palm of His hand and the apple of His eye. You have been through much, and it has made you stronger and more refined. Bravo, my friend.

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