What If Poem by JOSHUA RYNGKSAI

What if...
I have learned...
How to…
‘not lie' without telling the truth,
pray without a heart of worship,
say God's name when evil coils around my heart,
tithe from a corrupted purse,
pretentiously love when malice I have to one and all,
preach brotherhood when racism streams my blood,
seem the loving son when I scorn my parents,
seem the loving husband when I failed fidelity,
show I respect women yet I'm the beast of domestic violence,
look religious yet my life is sacrilegious,
make a holy gesture yet quick is my middle finger,
publicly loathe sins of sinners yet sinning I continue,
donate thousands yet take stacks from the coffers,
shed tears in public to launch my career,
show respect to a poor man but never welcome him home,
compromise with others yet compromise the holy scriptures,
raise the ultimate plus when I'm full of dross,
burn incense when I'm a communal adder,
pray toward heaven when silent scream is in my agenda,
look pure yet my eyes have failed Job's covenant,
What if...
All my questions of how to …
Are scales that blind my eyes?
What then...
On that great day …
Those scales fail the scale …
I need not ask why …
When HE says because of...