Qiniso Mogale

Gold Star - 16,234 Points (25 September 1978 / Dvokolwako Swaziland)

When All Is Lost - Poem by Qiniso Mogale

When then zeal for life is gone
When all hope is gone
When faith fails
When faith no longer sustains
When all is lost
Blame them not those who take their own lives.

When friends are nowhere in sight
When relatives are distant
When no one is prepared to provide comfort
When all is lost
Blame not those who take their own lives.
Give an ear to the disgruntled you may save a life
Comfort the downtrodden you may save a life
Help those who have lost their livelihoods you may save lives
When all is lost
Let not lives be lost.

Topic(s) of this poem: modern


Comments about When All Is Lost by Qiniso Mogale

  • Jefferson CarterJefferson Carter (7/1/2017 4:10:00 PM)

    Qiniso, technically, this is a prose paragraph. Why not break it into lines so it's verse? The piece would work better if instead of larding it with abstractions (zeal, life, hope, faith, etc.) , you focused on images, on showing not telling. Maybe read some good contemporary poetry (Billy Collins, Mary Oliver) to improve?

    If you have time, check out my new website:

    jeffersoncarterverse.com

    Tell me how you like it, and, if you do, perhaps share it with interested friends? Thanks! Yrs, JC
    (Report)Reply

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Poem Submitted: Saturday, July 1, 2017

Poem Edited: Sunday, July 2, 2017


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