Where Should I Go Now Poem by Bireswar Halder

I am that mother who once dreamt for you
While you played gently in my proud womb
That was a time I whispered hope into your ears
I rewrote my fate for you, my dearest son.

I am that mother who once smiled in the labour pains
How excruciating the pain is, my son, you never knew
Nor did I know this in euphoria of your blessed arrival
All pain was washed away by your angelic innocence.

I am that mother who sat sleeplessly through the nights
As you slumbered peacefully in a divine blessedness
For you alone, hardship turned to bliss in my life
A mother that I was, love and care were your prerogative

I am that mother who cradled your first footsteps on earth
Slowly you learnt to lisp maa with a divine stutter
Can you remember those teasing moments before each meal
And your longing for fairytale and lullabies before sleep?

I am that mother who guarded you from all vile omens
Like a strong shield facing all those furious arrows
You only saw my face lit up in light, not in grief and pain
You, my son, my strength, a crutch to hold in my infirmity.

I am that old mother now lonely and tearfully helpless,
Your guile leaves me moping in the chilly night at Gangasagar.
My dear son, what sinister reward is this for all my sacrifice
Yes, burden am I, as you feel...where will my fate lead me? Tell me.