White Is The Light That I Will Never Be Poem by Linda Marie Van Tassell

White is the light that I will - never - be -
being a ghost who hides in the shadows -
who walks - alone - along pathways of stone -
with the wind and the rain in my house clothes -

I seek only the solace of - quiet -
threaded cotton of - invisible - verse -
whispering words appear then disappear -
holy - silence - in the hem of my skirt -

Father boarded a train travelling - east -
and mother followed him one month later -
what to do? what to do? I am - alone -
I hold tight the stillness even greater -

The others could - never - understand me -
They cannot fathom the loneness I - crave -
this space in my soul is an - empty - hole -
there is comfort in the bowl of a grave -

I fill it with words until it's - brimming -
white scraps of linen are folded with care -
my words are such words white-winged and as bright -
as granite ashes that - float - in the air -

Perhaps it's not normal to embrace - dark -
to extinguish - light - in branches of me -
but it's what I've known and grafted to bone -
White is the light that I - never - will be.