Why Humans Must Propagate Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

A million years ago our Lord
made both umbilicus and chord,
from which he then through careful honing
and metamorphous deep cell cloning
fleshed out the skeleton per se
and made (taste of Gethsemaneh)
two living creatures off his plan,
at first a woman, then a man.



To minimise the daily schooling
he issued a decree, a ruling,
you may dear children, eat of all
the things that grow from Spring to Fall,
enjoy the citrus and the berries,
the cucumbers and sour cherries
but leave the apples on the trees!

They listened with a lazy ease
then Adam asked why apples be
forbidden and left on the tree.
The apple, said their Father must
be seen as objects of a lust
which is a trait that critters carry
that leads to urges just to marry
and propagate the species proper,
all males have what I call a stopper
but do not clutter your small minds...
I've given you a pair of blinds
which are the lids close to your eyes
to keep out raunchy views and flies.

Well, Eve and Adam sat and wondered
and thought about it, even pondered
what punishment God would bestow,
they felt a burning need to now.

God said, touch the forbidden fruit
(while chewing on a rhubarb root)
and all my wrath be on your head,
in fact I may just strike you dead!

Forbidden fruit said Eve to Adam,
oh yes, he answered, precious madam,
perhaps we try a piece tonight
right after God turns out the light.

The garden, Eden it was named,
had never hosted someone shamed
or disobedient to the laws
but this proved an unusual cause,
so in the end they shared a sliver
and right away felt a big shiver
as if the powers had observed
the sin, which Eve, the rather curved
and well endowed female creation
had instigated at their station.

And lightning struck their hut with power
and God himself came in the hour
to mete out punishment at once.
You shall be married, and have sons
and daughters, each will come with pain
and leave upon your heart a stain!

He showed them quickly to the door
no Eden, now forevermore,
you go and populate the earth
each dozen moons you will give birth.

Adam and Eve went down the road,
evicted from their Mother Lode,
and soon found shelter in a town
where someone handed Eve a gown.

It seems that nudity offended
and laws had quickly been amended.
The noted that their God had fibbed
that genders all were even-ribbed,
and they were not the first created,
all these and stuff were well debated.

And on a night with a full moon,
while Eve was humming an old tune,
dear Adam's brain caught two small ripples,
he had laid eyes upon her nipples.

You understand, dear reader, clearly
that God did love his children dearly.
He found though that they did not heed
his orders, during times of need.

If you have children rest assured
that God himself who has endured
the consequences of behaviour
and he, of course, was the big Saviour.

So, if you wonder why not praying
or Eden chores....? what I am saying
is logic told our God to order
that folks go out beyond the border
and take a woman with two swellings
then find the coziest of dwellings
and fornicate with fruits forbidden
which in the darkness may be hidden.

Man's hope and woman's obligation
is that they practice fornication,
which means God's own predicament
initially was heaven-sent.