Why I Must Likely Stay Poem by JAMES T. ADAIR

It's hard for me to realize
that we're still married
I left so many years ago
after hurting and crying so

You wouldn't let me speak
To my children all the week
They're asleep you would say
Though I heard them at play

You pointed your mean finger at me
And said I must be having fun
When all the while I though of you
Like the moon and the sun

When they came down on me
You never were around
You watched my crying
And never made a sound

I look at you sometimes
and search for the girl I knew
But she's no longer you
and there's nothing I can do

You exist for them
and not for me
It hurts sometimes
when its so plain to see

Sometimes when you snore
I turn you to your side
and replay all the yesterdays
And wishes hurt me more

I have so many others now
I give each of them a part
Kindness is a virture
But love is more an art

I found kindness in my friends
I make love to them each day
I give them all the parts of me
You would throw away

I'm at peace without you now
Though I still see you so clear
I love you too, as I used to do
Only wish that you were here

All these years together
you like to watch novellas on TV
You like to say how bad I am
But you never noticed me

You look at me sometimes
and I see a glimpse of yesterday
I have many thoughts inside
But to you I cannot say

You try to do your best now
I truly do see the meal on the plate
We share meals and a bed
But for love it feels too late

Her eyes are kind like yours once were
They sparkle in the moonight bright
She feels my heart and soul inside
and in me she finds delight

And though I'm rusted and grey
She graciously holds my hand all day
and keeps me in her heart, lest I slip away
And love has reached me in its own way

But I still think of you
And tears come to my eyes
for all you've thrown away
That's why with you I must likely stay