Will It Get Better? Poem by mona martinez

why do i try to prove myself to you?
everything is never what you want.
what the hell that about!
i don't know why.
but, what do i got to prove to you?
i should be trying to prove to myself,
so why am i paying attention to your comments.
it don't make sense, that i spend most of my time
thinking of them.
it just brings me down.
is that what you want?
it seem to make you happy.
does it matters what the fudge i want! ! ! ! ! !
fudge no, it never did! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
cuz to you I'm always in it for something.
did it ever occur to you i want something more.
fudge no! ! ! ! !
to you that asking on way to much.
what is it going to take?
to have back the life i had.
yet being left in with people who are never happy.
is that so much to ask?
yeah i guess it is.
I'm still stuck in a world that,
messed up and lonely.
will it ever get better.
i have no ideal.

10-14-08