You Made It To Inspire Poem by Randy McClave

I buried my pain beneath a smile that wasn't mine
Instead of smiling, I should had been crying,
Then and only then I wanted to finally make a break
Then I wanted my true feelings to escape.
The smile that I was wearing wasn't mine to wear
Because the people around me didn't really care
They lied and used and cheated as though all for fun
That smile that I was wearing, was just a pun.
I wanted to laugh in those eyes that had used me
I also wanted to smile in those eyes who thought I didn't see,
And I wanted to stare in those eyes who thought that I was blind
And I wanted to grin at those eyes which were never kind.
I instead fought off my own self destruction
As I thought only I could cause myself pain and self corruption,
I would not give anyone the pleasure of killing my self-love
My feelings and my beliefs, I would not ever dispose of.
I have my own feelings and thoughts and emotions and sight
I refuse to go down without even a fight,
As a child I never imagined I'd have to fight my way through life
And I never dreamed that I would become a survivor of untold strife.
As a child and as an adult I also survived many untold horrors
It was given to me as candy is given to children in stores,
So, if you ever find me in a field of fire
Take me home, brush me off, and say to me, "you made it to inspire".

Randy L. McClave