Youth. Poem by Jesser Weaver

Never thought i'd end up where I'm at.
Digging in trash cans and fighting for food with the cats.
It's so hard to live this way.
I'm not even promised another breath or day.
I think back of my younger years....
there's so much I dreamed I would do.
I was so distracted by my peers.
Now look, we all went our separate ways.
we're through.

At the time....
I was the coolest kid on the block with all the best drugs.
Now I'm all alone and sleeping on a welcome rug.
I wonder why I'm alive....
and why I haven't taken this life of mine.
He wakes me up every morning.....
with the sun to my eyes.
Hmm it must be a sign.

As the years passed....
I saw all of my friends go to college and succeed.
I'm still the same person from '83.
Living under the shade of the tree.
Smoking this pathetic weed.

Decisions I regret.....
I never made the right choice.
My mind took me away from reality.
My heart yelled with tears....
but I never listened to his voice.
I strayed away from my feelings....
and blew off my emotions.
Now my life is a roller coaster....
running backwards in slow motion.

I have held in so much pain....
and it's hard for me to tell the truth.
But it hurts so much....
when I reminisce on my cheerful youth.
My girl was all I had.
I wish she would of stayed.
I was the captain of every single sport I played.

Now, it's hard for me to walk....
most of the time......I crawl.
Sometimes I wish I can go home....
and see my diploma on the wall.
This life Is all I know now.....
everything I'm used to.
All I see is darkness....
when I look deep into my future.

My family is still near....
but it feels like I have no relation.
I have been lost for years....
lord guide me in the right direction.
Please help me God....
listen to what I'm saying.
My knees have dried blood......
From all of this crying and praying.......