Robert Edgar Burns Poems

Oily
Not too handy
On the souls of your shoes.
Especially when walking far.
...

I've never sinned in my whole life.
And I've never told a lie.
I have never stolen anything
Or made anybody cry.
...

When I was just an only child
Alone I would play with no other.
So I put in an order with my dad,
And he sent it along to my mother.
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I can hear the church bells ringing,
Sunday morning at stroke of nine.
A joyous cheery chiming
Saying 'sinner come and dine.'
...

A Parody to the tune 'There Was An Old Lady'

There was a young boy
Who in his sweet youth,
He spit out a tooth,
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If you're out with a beautiful lady
On lovers lane on a night of bliss,
And you ask her if you can kiss her,
Kiss her twice before she answers this.
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Put a vacuum cleaner in my tub
Just to watch the bubbles blow.
A fire came just after that,
My how those embers glow.
...

Gas was twenty five cents per gallon.
Milk was fifty nine.
Eggs five dozen cartons for a dollar,
Sealtest was a favorite of mine.
...

I can feel my feet hotly burning,
For I have danced upon the flames.
For the life I lived was hot and cold,
And I am the only one to blame.
...

Off come the mittens,
The scarves and the coats.
Little girls collect sea shells,
Little boys building moats.
...