I've never sinned in my whole life.
And I've never told a lie.
I have never stolen anything
Or made anybody cry.
...
When I was just an only child
Alone I would play with no other.
So I put in an order with my dad,
And he sent it along to my mother.
...
I can hear the church bells ringing,
Sunday morning at stroke of nine.
A joyous cheery chiming
Saying 'sinner come and dine.'
...
A Parody to the tune 'There Was An Old Lady'
There was a young boy
Who in his sweet youth,
He spit out a tooth,
...
If you're out with a beautiful lady
On lovers lane on a night of bliss,
And you ask her if you can kiss her,
Kiss her twice before she answers this.
...
Put a vacuum cleaner in my tub
Just to watch the bubbles blow.
A fire came just after that,
My how those embers glow.
...
Gas was twenty five cents per gallon.
Milk was fifty nine.
Eggs five dozen cartons for a dollar,
Sealtest was a favorite of mine.
...
I can feel my feet hotly burning,
For I have danced upon the flames.
For the life I lived was hot and cold,
And I am the only one to blame.
...
Off come the mittens,
The scarves and the coats.
Little girls collect sea shells,
Little boys building moats.
...
I think of you when the wind blows.
I think of you at first light.
I think of you as the sun goes down
And I dream of you at night.
...