Gone so long, but never forgotten
Almost fifteen years have passed
Seems like a lifetime
It is, the good half of mine.
It is the half in which I had you,
Where my days were filled with unconditional love and support.
Even the craziest of my dreams, I would hear you say “why Not”
You were always there…
Ready for anything …
Always there…breakfast, lunch and supper.
We would rush home from school knowing you there waiting, with arms open wide, welcoming us home and thanking God its in one piece!
I remember in those days how easy sleep came after you placed your hands on our heads and prayed to God for our safety.
As I listened to you plead for our health and happiness, I have never felt safer …it’s as if God Almighty himself had placed his hand on my forehead!
And then you were GONE!
And all that wonderful, warm light that was our safe and sheltered life was swallowed and shattered by the darkest of darks!
Nothing made sense.
Anger almost destroying, the very foundation of your lessons taught with love!
In these dark and empty days, I felt like you and God had abandoned me!
“What kind of cruel God would rip a mother away from her young children, when they already had no father? ”
Questions like these drove me insane.
I got sucked in…disappeared…lost myself, in this blurred haze, which was my so called life.
In these crazy days…drugged up existence, I lived my worst fears….not remembering you! Every memory of you was distorted…your face unrecognizable…and this drove me over the edge!