Treasure Island

Diane Hine

(25 July 1956)

Coffee


The couple ordered flat whites in the café.
“I bet there’ll be spillage in the saucer”,
she said, watching waiters dash past the table.
“Well, there was a time, ” he said, “when pouring
hot coffee into your saucer was thought
quite acceptable. The tip, blow and sip method.”
“Really, ” she replied, “well, I like a dry saucer
and expect it, for four dollars and fifty cents! ”
A cappuccino whizzed past. “Half a cup of air, ”
she said dismissively, “coffee with bubblewrap.”
He smiled in reply. He really didn’t care.
Their waiter arrived promptly, saucers in hands.
His was set down first. A trickle of tan
slid down the outer white curve. “Waves, ” she exclaimed.
The waiter paused, second saucer in hand. “Ma’am? ”
Her smile was tight. “The forcing frequency of your gait
resonates with that of the liquid, causing waves.”
The waiter glanced at the gent, who smiled and shrugged.
“The solution, ” she said, “is to use a suspended tray.
A pendulum set-up would buffer…..”
At that precise moment, a bag-laden customer
brushed past, nudging the waiter’s arm and hand
which still held her saucer - white as white. The cup
was launched, flew briefly and dived into her lap.
She was stunned; momentarily nonplussed.
Hot but not too hot, she thought as liquid splashed.
Gasps from other tables; someone said “Awesome…..”
The gent patted the waiter on the back.
“Not to worry, ” he said, “I know for a fact,
she really didn’t want it in the saucer.”

Submitted: Saturday, May 04, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Do you like this poem?
0 person liked.
0 person did not like.

Read this poem in other languages

This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.

I would like to translate this poem »

word flags

What do you think this poem is about?

Comments about this poem (Coffee by Diane Hine )

Enter the verification code :

  • Daniel Brick (8/10/2014 8:53:00 PM)

    I just had to read a poem about coffee, which is my favorite beverage. I'm really a fanatic when it comes to coffee.
    But all fanaticism is just a sitting target to be shot down by someone with wit and an irony pistol. Fair enough!
    Actually the target of this satire is really the Starbucks-type coffee shop which charges us $3.75 for a beverage that costs 75 cents to make. Once again your deft humor hits the bull's-eye! (Report) Reply

  • Lyn Paul (1/3/2014 7:22:00 AM)

    How right you about the half a cup of air. I am a flat white girl myself. You can most certainly turn a simple coffee into a great script. (Report) Reply

  • Patricia Grantham (6/21/2013 8:51:00 AM)

    A very nice poem on Coffee. Who would ever
    dream that a drink like this would cause a
    stir as this. A really funny write. Need this good
    laugh. Thanks. (Report) Reply

  • Danny Draper (5/20/2013 4:17:00 AM)

    She just likes it the way she likes it - Sally Albright style. A great yarn with some physics thrown in. That womans knowledge of such matters reminds me of some one? (Report) Reply

  • Shahzia Batool (5/9/2013 1:03:00 PM)

    This is my 2nd read on Coffee, the first one was, WAITER, THERE'S AN ALLIGATOR IN MY COFFEE, and both are written in the same style...just involving! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • Captain Cur (5/7/2013 12:20:00 PM)

    As you can well imagine we are all drinking from white as white plates on the ship.
    Pendulum method, I will advise the cook, what was his name again?
    I guess her coffee was called; Cafe au Fate.
    Nicely ground, funny stuff. (Report) Reply

  • David Wood (5/7/2013 5:13:00 AM)

    That happened to me but with a bowl of soup, the waiter dropped it in my lap. I got a new pair of trousers out of them though & a free lunch. A very funny poem Diane. (Report) Reply

  • Valerie Dohren (5/5/2013 8:34:00 AM)

    Very funny Diane, well thought-out and certainly novel. Mine's a latte, by the way, and definitely not in the saucer, or in my lap for that matter! ! (Report) Reply

  • Tiku . (5/4/2013 11:49:00 PM)

    what an interesting drop.got real enjoyment reading this.very nice. (Report) Reply

Read all 16 comments »

Top Poems

  1. Phenomenal Woman
    Maya Angelou
  2. The Road Not Taken
    Robert Frost
  3. If You Forget Me
    Pablo Neruda
  4. Still I Rise
    Maya Angelou
  5. Dreams
    Langston Hughes
  6. Annabel Lee
    Edgar Allan Poe
  7. If
    Rudyard Kipling
  8. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
    Robert Frost
  9. I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings
    Maya Angelou
  10. Invictus
    William Ernest Henley

New Poems

  1. What It Would Take, David Whalen
  2. ASHES IN THE EYES, MOHAMMAD SKATI
  3. الجناس, Abdullah alHemaidy
  4. world, Samuel Temidayo
  5. A Carl Andre Sampler, Paul Geiger
  6. OUR FALLEN LEAVES اوراقنا المتساقطة, MOHAMMAD SKATI
  7. Nothing to my sleep!, Gedion Onyango
  8. 154. The Path Of Life, John Westlake
  9. OUR FALLEN LEAVES اوراقنا المتساقطة, MOHAMMAD SKATI
  10. Language, Our Friend, Sandra Feldman

Poem of the Day

poet William Wordsworth

I

I AM not One who much or oft delight
To season my fireside with personal talk.--
Of friends, who live within an easy walk,
Or neighbours, daily, weekly, in my sight:
...... Read complete »

   
[Hata Bildir]