Cait Oiler

The fire crept across my waking face,
Leaving only slight images of you,
Feel Jack Frost crawling closer?
His touch lingers still on my lips,
...

You've smothered me in feelings of the past,
Almost every sentence begins with, 'Remember the time…'
With each breath,
My soul drifts further away,
...

keep telling myself that I'll love you in the morning,
But it's a white lie,
The color of the walls,
Something that means more than it should,
...

Somehow we've ended up so far away,
Distant to what we once were,
Contention plagues us now,
Can you take me back to that day?
...

You smile politely as if to say that we've 'lost touch',
I slip my coffee and try to forget the moments we've lost,
It's hard to face you,
To look into your eyes,
...

I can still recall how it would be,
White roses lining the halls,
Candles, flickering in-between smiles,
Fingers laced with fingers thinking that this moment would last forever,
...

How could I hide it from you?
Cover it with words,
Pretend it was an accident?
...

It’s a holocaust of pretty words and crooked smiles.
You expect me to laugh it off.
You expect me to be fine.
You expect for me to wake up and keep on living with this genocide.
...

It’s a masochistic ritual,
Looking through her photos,
Imagining her and you,
You and her,
...

Daniel,
Why has the world turned colder now that you’ve left?
I use to pretend I crashed into you every day,
But the impact never felt right,
...

Too often I find myself stuck in rewind,
Reliving past the moments we never but should have shared,
I still believe that it should have been me,
Rather than some big-eyed teenager.
...

I'd bleed for you,

But I've forgotten the pain,
The short pressure,
...

We're so different,
You say,
There are now lines around your eyes,
You pretend to brush them away and laugh,
...

Your gaze seemed colder than the coffee warming my hands,
I couldn’t help but fall back into the memories of those forgotten, warm days,
The sun felt warm on my back as the cool water splashed our faces,
“I wish I was wiser.” You say.
...

Your voice repeats like a record,
A pattern,
A sound,
You breathe and I know what's coming,
...

The moment seemed to repeat itself,
I was living in that second and everything felt right,
words filled my throat,
But as they inched their way to their escape,
...