(420) Watering The Flowers Poem by Melvina Germain

A sense of tranquility came over me as I stood there basking in the beauty of the day. A slight wind touched the back of my neck and I was sure I heard a whisper say, I love you. ahhhhhhhh that is nice A WHISPER OF GOD: : very very nice my dear divine poetess. tony

Oh Melvina love your poem, 'wore the sun as a glove'...I can feel the warmth you must have been feeling! Wonderful write! Hugs, Diane

A real setting of an ordinary day in the lives of simple people.This poem talks about simple people with simple heart's desire.And i think, i fitted into this poem. It's like me imagining a task to be done, and then, i am happy for it..simple Me. I love this, Melvina..

The hiss of the hose, nodding heads of the small, bright flowers... I feel my soul expand as I read your poem. I really like your image of wearing the sun's warmth and light like a glove. Warm regards, Melvina, John.

The wind which caressed your ear and carried with it an expression of love bears with it now my soft sigh of satisfaction from having read your lovely work.

I was enchanted. She wore the sun as gloves and she basked in the beauty of the day? Really? And with a touch of trans-natural romance. Thanks for sharing.

Change #4: The definition of breeze is a slight wind, so I would change the phrase a slight wind to a gentle breeze, or perhaps a gentle summer's breeze. All in all, I really enjoyed this poem! Keep writing!

Change #3: A sense of tranquility came over me. While I do like this line, I believe the poem would be better if you were not to use the word tranquility, and simply, maybe with the addition of a few lines, maybe not, let the poem's language show the feeling, rather than just saying it.

Change #2: Instead of... ever so gently touched..., I would suggest simplifying it and making it tickled. While the mist from the garden hose tickled / my legs... If you wanted, I'm sure you could incorporate an inner rhyme with the words tickle (from the mist) and trickle (from the hose running) .

Change #1: The line... hold their tiny heads to the sky... is the first line that could use some pruning, so to speak. Some flowers have larger heads than others. Snap-dragons, for instance, do have tiny heads, but one would not consider a marigold as possessing a tiny head. Instead of the word tiny, I would suggest in its place something like pretty or delicate.