The early morning dew caressed petals
of garden flowers, allowing them to
hold their tiny heads toward the sky.
I wore the sun as a glove this morning,
covering my skin with its warm embrace, while
the mist from the garden hose ever so slightly
touched my legs as I watered our beautiful
Flowers.
A sense of tranquility came over me as I
stood there basking in the beauty of the day.
A slight wind touched the back of my neck
and I was sure I heard a whisper say,
I love you.
The hiss of the hose, nodding heads of the small, bright flowers... I feel my soul expand as I read your poem. I really like your image of wearing the sun's warmth and light like a glove. Warm regards, Melvina, John.
A real setting of an ordinary day in the lives of simple people.This poem talks about simple people with simple heart's desire.And i think, i fitted into this poem. It's like me imagining a task to be done, and then, i am happy for it..simple Me. I love this, Melvina..
Oh Melvina love your poem, 'wore the sun as a glove'...I can feel the warmth you must have been feeling! Wonderful write! Hugs, Diane
Happy words to set off my British morning.....a serene and calming poem. Thanks, Melvina. Love, Fran xx
I was enchanted. She wore the sun as gloves and she basked in the beauty of the day? Really? And with a touch of trans-natural romance. Thanks for sharing.
Change #4: The definition of breeze is a slight wind, so I would change the phrase a slight wind to a gentle breeze, or perhaps a gentle summer's breeze. All in all, I really enjoyed this poem! Keep writing!
Change #3: A sense of tranquility came over me. While I do like this line, I believe the poem would be better if you were not to use the word tranquility, and simply, maybe with the addition of a few lines, maybe not, let the poem's language show the feeling, rather than just saying it.
Change #2: Instead of... ever so gently touched..., I would suggest simplifying it and making it tickled. While the mist from the garden hose tickled / my legs... If you wanted, I'm sure you could incorporate an inner rhyme with the words tickle (from the mist) and trickle (from the hose running) .
Change #1: The line... hold their tiny heads to the sky... is the first line that could use some pruning, so to speak. Some flowers have larger heads than others. Snap-dragons, for instance, do have tiny heads, but one would not consider a marigold as possessing a tiny head. Instead of the word tiny, I would suggest in its place something like pretty or delicate.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
A sense of tranquility came over me as I stood there basking in the beauty of the day. A slight wind touched the back of my neck and I was sure I heard a whisper say, I love you. ahhhhhhhh that is nice A WHISPER OF GOD: : very very nice my dear divine poetess. tony