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(420) Watering The Flowers

Rating: 4.1

The early morning dew caressed petals
of garden flowers, allowing them to
hold their tiny heads toward the sky.

I wore the sun as a glove this morning,
covering my skin with its warm embrace, while
the mist from the garden hose ever so slightly
touched my legs as I watered our beautiful

A sense of tranquility came over me as I
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Yashim David George 12 March 2021

I was enchanted. She wore the sun as gloves and she basked in the beauty of the day? Really? And with a touch of trans-natural romance. Thanks for sharing.

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Anonymous Poet 21 August 2018

Change #4: The definition of breeze is a slight wind, so I would change the phrase a slight wind to a gentle breeze, or perhaps a gentle summer's breeze. All in all, I really enjoyed this poem! Keep writing!

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Anonymous Poet 21 August 2018

Change #3: A sense of tranquility came over me. While I do like this line, I believe the poem would be better if you were not to use the word tranquility, and simply, maybe with the addition of a few lines, maybe not, let the poem's language show the feeling, rather than just saying it.

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Anonymous Poet 21 August 2018

Change #2: Instead of... ever so gently touched..., I would suggest simplifying it and making it tickled. While the mist from the garden hose tickled / my legs... If you wanted, I'm sure you could incorporate an inner rhyme with the words tickle (from the mist) and trickle (from the hose running) .

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Anonymous Poet 21 August 2018

Change #1: The line... hold their tiny heads to the sky... is the first line that could use some pruning, so to speak. Some flowers have larger heads than others. Snap-dragons, for instance, do have tiny heads, but one would not consider a marigold as possessing a tiny head. Instead of the word tiny, I would suggest in its place something like pretty or delicate.

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Anonymous Poet 21 August 2018

I really enjoyed this poem, but there are some slight changes that I might suggest. (And these are just my opinions.) I will, owing to the character count restriction, be making multiple comments with my critiques.

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Chuy Amante 08 January 2016

420 watering, hmmm, you should trim those buds before they go to flower you were a molotov cocktail!

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Dr Antony Theodore 06 January 2016

A sense of tranquility came over me as I stood there basking in the beauty of the day. A slight wind touched the back of my neck and I was sure I heard a whisper say, I love you. ahhhhhhhh that is nice A WHISPER OF GOD: : very very nice my dear divine poetess. tony

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Wes Vogler 22 November 2015

third try to send a comment and the machine snatches it away I shall have my say, blue li.e it, and come back

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Linda Moore 17 November 2015

Relaxingly Beautiful I could feel myself standing there as I read your poem

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