A Day I Wont Forget Poem by angel of passion 016

A Day I Wont Forget

this is the day i think were goin steady
i sure hope i am ready
sitting in my bedroom white dress and vale
soon ill be goin down that rail

flowers in my hand
out of the veihcle and on the ground i land
in front of the church i am
tears out my eyes all ram

of happiness they come
im excited some
i walk up those stairs
this man really cares

down the aisle
with a great big smile
the man of my dreams
this walk so long it seems

up on the steps i go
thay werent that low
my man saying his vows
the audience have wows

i then say my vows too
and everything id do
then you say i do
and i say i do too

then you lean me over and kiss me
now together we have a world to see
this was a day i won't forget
and the man i wont regret

Shekhar Joshi 20 June 2009

looks pretty good to me........the theme's good..........i guess sunshine is being too harsh........... i will advice you to check the spellings though..........coz u have quite a few spelling mistakes........and one more and important thing, i think you are forcing your poem to rhyme.....i will give you an example........ ''of happiness they come im excited some''' here some looks all out of place and seems like u have forced it so as to rhyme with come.........remember poetry is not about rhyme always......... All in all a good poem.............. ;)

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Sunset moonshine 10 January 2009

this poem doesn't make sense to me at all

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