A Lonesome Traveller Poem by Vinaya Joseph

I am 35
I am a woman,
No longer a girl,
And worse still,
For the world
I am single, successful and happy…
A lone traveller,
In this journey of life

I am 35
I had donned many roles,
Taken small responsibilities
As a daughter,
As a sister,
As an aunt
And so on...

According to people,
But what mattered most was
That by this age,
I had to be someone’s wife…
I had to be someone’s mother…
I had to be someone’s asset…

Being single,
They questioned my commitment and character…
As I did not belong to any one…
What to reply…
All I had to say was that
I had not committed any wrong,
I led my life on my own terms,
Without depending on others
Without troubling or paining others
Without being owned by anyone

I was brought up by my parents,
To believe in my self,
To have faith
In the power of my wings,
So please don’t treat me like an accessory,
For I have my own individual identity,
I take pride
In having my own voice and freedom,
Not confined by chains
Of orthodox ‘gender stereotypes’

Being single,
Is a choice that I made?
A decision that I took…
And I stood by it,
Smilingly,
With absolute no regrets

Sometimes people and circumstances
Force you to think,
Is it a crime to be a spinster?
I have nothing against the institution of marriage,
It is the most beautiful thing,
If you meet your ‘harmonious’ match,
Like I witnessed in the case of my parents…

Though, I had my own apprehensions
Like If I married,
Then I would be Mrs X,
And Mr X would own me,
I would be someone’s possession
Sometimes I felt
That the good thing about being ‘owned’
By someone was...
That I became someone’s ‘private’ property
And none could trespass on my ‘public’ rights,
With chastity being a woman's greatest virtue,
Fidelity being a woman's biggest strength,
After marriage, ‘My man’ could have sex with me,
And ‘my body’ belonged to him.

I would be in his ‘safe hands’
None could commit adultery with me,
Seducing me would be a sin,
After all,
I was my ‘man’s asset’