Randy Johnson Poems

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
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I met Pamela Anderson and we went on a date.
She was very becoming and everything went great.
It was an honor to date this star.
I made her forget about Tommy Lee and it wasn't hard.
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Last Christmas I went to Wal-mart to buy the last XBOX 360 they had.
But a man grabbed it as I reached for it and that made me mad.
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You've been dead for the same amount of time that you lived, forty-two years.
You were loved and your death devastated each and every one of your peers.
You didn't perform in all fifty states, one state that you missed was Montana.
You performed your last concert on June 26,1977 in the state of Indiana.
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You got my sister pregnant and refused to take responsibility.
You told her it's her problem and now you have to deal with me.
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(This is a fictional poem)

I soar through the air as I shoot webs from my hands.
When people see me, they say there goes Spider-man.
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I built a living creature with every body part that I could find.
I had no idea that I was giving him a psychopathic mind.
He has a flat head, green skin and bolts in his neck.
He escaped from my lab and he's on a violent trek.
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When I was seven, I had 100 dogs and that was too many.
My dad would cuss while my mama spanked my fanny.
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All day long I've had bad luck.
This morning I got on an elevator and it got stuck.
I had a panic attack and thought I was going to die.
I asked a man to put out his cigarette and he stuck it in my eye.
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