A Tribute To Tiger Mom Poem by Rain Chan

I.

Tiger moms are real

They are not figments of our imagination

They roar at us when we make mistakes

as children, we sobbed and whimpered like tortured animals

in their presence.

Their claws sharpened

by centuries of ancestral bickering.



In the eyes of tiger moms

there is only one form of love—

tough love.



We compare our tiger moms with white mommies

we see on TV

secretly wishing we were born with lighter pigmentation

Our naive selves long to develop strong,

confident

egos

so we can win

battles against our white counterparts

on the school yard

during recess.



My tiger mom wanted to prepare me for a cruel and unjust world

where i can fend for myself

because that is the world she grew up in.



Perhaps

unconsciously

intuitively

instinctively

she knew

i would experience

racism

sexism

all kinds of isms.



Underneath this tiger is an abandoned little girl

who forgot how to laugh,

how to weep,

how to reach out,

to hold your hand,

to say "I love you"



This little girl wanted to ensure

that i will always know

how to read

her language.



this little girl

held on tightly

to education

to language

to communication.



so as i sit by the window watching the white kids

play tag in the park

i recite

poems from Tang dynasty.



Not every tiger moms are teachers back home

not every tiger moms marry violent men

not every tiger moms become astronaut parents

Some are even capable of compliments.



my tiger mom gave me a gift

that i, as a child,

did not understand how to appreciate

the gift of being literate

in my own mother tongue.



It is a gift that caused Canadian born Chinese kids

to label me Fresh

Off the Boat.

A FOB.



As an adult, this gift is unimaginable

amongst Chinese community

How is it possible that one can speak fluent English

and also read Chinese?

Impossible.



"How old were you when you came? "

as if my language skills define

who i am.

This gift created an envy

i never understood.

but i assure you

there would be no envy

had you known how much tears

were shed in the process of keeping

my

mother's

tongue.



II.

Saturn return takes approximately

28-30 years to occur.



i begin to yearn for roots

to dig through Chinese sources

to unravel mysteries of 5000-year-old histories

analyze the need to critique Mao Ze Dong and Confucianism

to embrace Daoism and read Lu Xun

to commemorate June 4th



to value deep bonds and exchanges with FOB friends

to follow Hong Kong's Umbrella Movement

to value Taiwanese indie musicians

i begin to cook

Rice



i begin to study Chinese medicine

i begin to dry up my tears

i begin to forgive

my mother



i begin to forgive the child in me

the child who did not understand the power of language

the child who did not care for ancient classics

the child who could not fathom colonialism

or cultural genocide.

the child who could not imagine an adult's hunger

to reconnect with genealogical stories

or the commitment of healing

ancestral traumas.



Tiger mom's tough love

is in essence

the gift

of empowerment,

healing,

and resilience.


III.

Tiger moms are real

We are not figments of your imagination

We roar at you when you make mistakes

as children, you sobbed and whimpered like tortured animals

in our presence.

Our claws sharpened

by centuries of ancestral bickering.



In the eyes of tiger moms

there is only one form of love—

tough love.



Being a tiger mom means being an image of poise,

Means being demanding of our children,

and struggling for survival


I wanted to prepare you for a cruel and unjust world

where you could fend for yourself

because that is the world that I grew up in.

I am so tired of having to explain myself to the world

of having to explain the subtle nuances of being a tiger mom



Perhaps

unconsciously

intuitively

instinctively

I knew

you would experience

racism

heterosexism

all kinds of isms.



Underneath this tiger is an abandoned little girl

who forgot how to laugh,

how to weep,

how to reach out,

to hold your hand,

to say "I love you"



This little girl wanted to ensure

that you will always know

how to read

you language.



this little girl

held on tightly

to education

to language

to communication.


Day and night I lived and learned,

Nurtured and loved and wept

Hoping you would one day understand the value of my love


Not every tiger moms are teachers back home

not every tiger moms marry violent men

not every tiger moms become astronaut parents

Some are even capable of compliments.



I gave you a gift

that you, as a child,

did not understand how to appreciate

the gift of being literate

in your own mother tongue.



It is a gift that caused Canadian born Chinese kids

to label the both of us Fresh

Off the Boat.

A FOB.



As an adult, this gift is unimaginable

amongst Chinese community

How is it possible that one can speak fluent English

and also read Chinese?

Impossible.



"How old were you when you came? "

as if your language skills define

who you are.

This gift created an envy

you never understood.

But we both knew the tears that were shed

In the process of learning

my

ancestral

tongue.