Aaa) You Never Read My Eyes (Words You Will Never Read) Poem by Bill Smith

The end it came too soon,
I thought the day had come
When valentines would have some semblance of meaning
It was destined not to be
So here are the words I think you craved
Some I wanted to say but new better
Words you will never read
Words withheld from history lessons taught
Where words of love are thrown away when two become one
Their meaning lessened by separation
Though no less written from the heart in moments where the heart flies
Moments where everything seems possible
The unobtainable within reach
Here are the words you will never read
Things I could not say face to face for fear of recriminations
should things go wrong
Things I told you less eloquently in the heat of passion

I never told you how you brought unbelievable sunshine into my life
The pride I felt to have walk by my side
How I wished the circumstances of our meeting different
Where to link arms, hold hands was not forbidden
Where the private face of us could be seen in public
I never told you how much from that first walk I wanted you to be mine
I told you many times how you perfect lips lifted me to unknown heights of joy
Just to look at them tied me in knots
To kiss them sublime
All the while the one way mirror signalled coming pain
You never saw beyond you
Once I told you, you were almost beautiful
Fearing to say just beautiful
Where could I go from there but backwards
Could there have been anything better than beautiful
Age has worn you well, your eyes that sometimes ache with loss
At other times sparkle, sparkle brighter than any brilliant cut diamond
Your hands held the lightest, the softest touch
We would spoon in bed, your arms wrapping me in a warm glow
Your lips feather light on my shoulders
I could have cried with happiness in those intimate moments
You were the lighthouse guiding me to the future
But as the lamp revolved and the light disappeared
came the dark moments when there were three of us
Room for me became limited
I listened to your pain, soaked your tears into my soul
From the highest of highs you brought me down
Opened the door into your world of hurt
Invited me in, willingly I entered,
I gave you understanding
Gave you everything I had to give to help you heal
Falling short every time, why, because “you don’t know”
The light would come round again
Your kisses falling to my lips like a whisper
The palm of you hand sliding into arousal
I would hold you,
The pirate holding the dead Kings treasure
Knowing I could never be enough
Knowing the giant shoes of the shadow could not be filled
Anything I did he had done, only bigger, better
Still I would hold you and think myself King
King for a day
Fool for life
Until the lights went out and the shadows appeared
I came to loath those three words
“you don’t know”
Over and over
“YOU DON’T KNOW”
Sadly I did, but you never bothered to read my eyes
You would look into them and say they were gorgeous
Yet you never read them
Never bothered to look beyond you
If you had you would have seen the words history prevented me from saying
Yes, I was falling in love with you
You never saw it
Your cling filmed emotions wrapped safe
No escape
Devoured by memories to fresh to resist
You sat on the see-saw alone
Pushing up and falling straight back down
You never read my eyes
Never read my eyes
Just as you will never read these words