Acquiescence Poem by Rani Turton

The questions you asked but to which I had no reply
But I wished I had, the replies to
The questions you had asked but never really asked
Remained in my life, murmuring every now and again
I thought of them amongst the debris of my life
I rephrased them and answered them in my heart
My soul had gone, every waking hour, to your door.

When I saw you years later I saw the same questions in your eyes.
The surprise of it all was that my existence was just a pack of lies.
Just a heap of rubble I had shifted this way and that
And tried to build an anorexic existence without substance,
Without even the framework of dreams.

Ask me now, before the year dies a little.
The fragility of this fate will quicken and burn
I will struggle to listen and to learn:
Ask me where meanings lie; ask me if I
Have any answers to give now, before goodbye.
Don't remind me the past: I was different and not very wise
I was the uncertainty of the air, the sun, the skies
I was as constant as the sun, the planets and tides

If you had only known that; my battles with everyday
Were often in the middle of insomniac nights
I thought to die, but my blood surged strong.
I wanted to lie passively and wait for the sunrise
The moon rose, instead and this story went wrong.

Ask me now, I have answers to give.
Don't ask for explications my life is what I have
In my hands to give, before your eyes
I have the answers here, if you have the questions hence
In simpicity, in acquiescence..

Copyright: Rani Turton