Affirmation Poem by Donald Hall
Affirmation
To grow old is to lose everything.
Aging, everybody knows it.
Even when we are young,
we glimpse it sometimes, and nod our heads
when a grandfather dies.
Then we row for years on the midsummer
pond, ignorant and content. But a marriage,
that began without harm, scatters
into debris on the shore,
and a friend from school drops
cold on a rocky strand.
If a new love carries us
past middle age, our wife will die
at her strongest and most beautiful.
New women come and go. All go.
The pretty lover who announces
that she is temporary
is temporary. The bold woman,
middle-aged against our old age,
sinks under an anxiety she cannot withstand.
Another friend of decades estranges himself
in words that pollute thirty years.
Let us stifle under mud at the pond's edge
and affirm that it is fitting
and delicious to lose everything.
While this might not read as his best poem, the sentiment is still worth considering. For me at least it is a caution to avoid becoming too enamored of attachments in life. Certainly this is true for material goods. And, at least for me, it is a caution to avoid objectifying relationships. I know I am more at peace when I focus on conduct, and act according to my beliefs (e.g., by choosing to act with compassion when ever and however I can) . Given that I am far from perfect, and thus have much comparative experience, I do know I am happier when I act with compassion toward others rather than behave in an acquisitive manner toward others. In this light I see “Affirmation” as a work of warning even regret.
Why delicious and fitting to lose everything, you ask? Maybe because only in losing it can you claim you ever had it. Everything and every person is temporary and temporarily having something or knowing someone is the is the best you'll ever get. The alternative is never having it at all. Reminds me of another poem called One Art, by Elizabeth Bishop.
Old age and death is inevitable. One should remain prepared to face it. Very nice poem. Thanks for sharing.
A fantastic verse, and great meditation on the nature of life. Nothing is forever we turn to seasons but we cant go back to them. Im nearly halfway to the middle of life, this poem resonates for those who know times scars.
2) cont'd: I only wish to add my newest quote: In losing every thing...I have found everything.
Very deserving of POD! Congratulations! All of the poets' comments have perfectly expressed my sentiments.
My grandmother was 91 when she said, 'We are each alone in this world'. She had many aquantaintances and family however.
yes in time we lose everything. Sometime it makes us to lose your faith and hope but still accepting the reality and living with what is living and beautiful around you is the best course. Being in the group of oldies loved reading the poem with such true and honest sentiments.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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2/5/2026 3:56:20 AM # 1.0.0
I have to re-read the poem before I appreciate how true it is in my life today at age 60