All Of What It Was Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Why are you on my mind,
When I said we were finished.
And what we had began to diminish,
Long ago.
Into slow unfolding pieces.

Why are you on my mind this way.
Leaving me to believe,
I reacted immaturely.
Hoping guilt would keep me,
Pacing a floor without sleep.
And I'd beg you back.
Like an addict running out of crack.

But I...
Dug a ditch to bury,
All my love.
All of what it was,
I ever knew felt for you.
But somehow you continue,
To find ways to make me bleed.
Bleed I did to do no more...
To be entrapped emotionally.

I...
Dug that ditch to bury,
All my love.
And what it was to know.
But emotionally you've shown me,
You can do what you choose...
With me.
When and wherever you please.
I don't do pleading on knees.

Why are you on my mind,
When I said we were finished.
And what we had began to diminish,
Long ago.
Into slow unfolding pieces.

Why are you on my mind this way.
Leaving me to believe,
I reacted immaturely.
Hoping guilt would keep me sleepless.
And I'd beg you back to be with me.

But I...
Dug that ditch to bury,
All my love.
And all of what it was I knew,
To think it true.
You may come back to make mental visits.
But wishing what you and I could have been...
Is more of a wish dismissed I am quick to undo.