Jennie Renee Sparrow

Gold Star - 5,736 Points (November 8th / Tahlequah, Oklahoma)

An Unwanted Shadow - Poem by Jennie Renee Sparrow

Life is obviously not the fairytale that it once promised to be,
My hopes and dreams can no longer hear me.
Why do I continue to yearn for something that isn't mine,
Perhaps it belonged to me in a different time.
Smashed dreams and broken promises are all that I see,
I have realized that this being is all that I am meant to be.
There are unfortunately no rewards for who I am,
Only shattered memories, torn hearts, and cherished moments that are damned.
For me I do not understand completely,
Perhaps it is punishment for things done unintentially.
I am a worthless being trapped in this useless vessel,
Not worthy of such beautiful wonders I once held.
Through my errors, trials, and strife,
It confuses me why the beast chooses to haunt my life.
Why me of all the entities of the world,
I could feel death tugging at my heart ever since I was a little girl.
It creeps into my mind, body, and soul with no where else to go;
I cannot refuse it yet I cannot release it to go.
The orbs of death circle my soul daily,
They corrupt my mind upon my weak days and nightly.
Forgive me for this is all I have ever known,
Its beastly ways are what I have been shown.
Always there even long before I could understand,
This evil curse has long lurked upon me and taken me by the hand.
To walk with it hand and hand each day,
At night before I sleep and firstly when I awake.
So many times I've cried myself to sleep,
Nothing changes for it is the same whether I am strong or weak.
These days are numbered but I will not give in,
All of my haunted years within.
It serves my memory well within my mind as it lingers,
So much power it had given within my tiny fingers.
Each time I try to forget but I still remember,
The dark cold chills up and down my spine that made me shiver.
It is my life that it has always wished to claim,
They come for me and call my name.
It is my life that it has always wished to claim,
They come for me and call my name.
I have often ignored them time and again over and over,
Sometimes I have answered them upon a crimson clover.
But they would not speak to me,
For they are of a beast within a beast that hide from their own hypocrisy.
Within the burdens are nothing but hatred and lies,
That are excreted through vomit and spread by flies.
My worthlessness consumes me,
The ignorance thickens as my talents abuse and I know this is what I am suppose to be.
I shall have no fortune or fame,
The famous city of stars will not know my name.
Such dreams will never be mine,
For I will be forgotten in time.
With nothing to show but regret and ungratefulness,
One day it shall all come to an end and no one will know any of this.
For we shall all reach our final day,
Death will come for each of us anyway.
When my final hour has taken me when the beast and I are face to face,
I shall not speak of these times of disgrace.
Then into a million pieces my soul will shatter,
In the end it doesn't even really matter.
Because in the end death has won,
New lives on the earth have begun.
We will soon be replaced by it,
Only faded mortals that all have forgot.
The sun shall shine no more,
When death knocks at the door.
I refuse, my soul the beast will not take,
Yet it is something I still cannot escape.
This is what is already written and shall be done,
I know that I am not the Immortal One.
My human soul will end like all the rest,
These are matters that we all regret.
Still I refuse to give in to the beast,
But in the end isn't it us that he defeats.
For the race against humanity and the war of Immortality cannot be won,
I will sacrifice myself but not my only son.
The earth's sun continues to tell the truth,
But I am caught up with the moonlight and still unable to comprehend it's root.
Therefore I continue to wait.
I bear witness before it is too late.
With a broken body, faded mind, and a soul full of hate.
Here left with a heart full of rage,
Find me locked like a bird in a cage.
Moving the time in which my body will hollow,
Days of mindlessness and soulessness will follow.
What ways that cannot be undone,
Follow the war that shall never be won.
My hopes, dreams, and memories will fade,
And my mind, body, and soul will wither away.
The rest of the story is forever untold,
For it is forever locked within my soul.
I have known this all of the while,
Why would the beast want a soul so timid and fragile.
A soul that is strong and complex yet lifeless,
Such an unworthy and talentless soul is worthless.
Feel the blood from my veins as it flows,
As I escape unto An Unwanted Shadow...

Topic(s) of this poem: shadows

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Poem Submitted: Monday, October 5, 2015

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