||Look your lover in the eye,
leap through the blinking
pendulum past a sleeping
lens. Pupil and Iris unfurl
a perennial world without
a score where WE converts
to I and the clock stops
stressing like a metronome.
The space between clicks
Uncurls|| A sound then swings
WE back to home set free
from I as tempos rise
then roam. Look again: ||
A fine experiment in movement. I think the language used is exquisite and the concept works for me. Most original poem I've read in ages.
A commanding write its odd syncopy and stresses are one point great write thanks
Thank you Paul. This was an experimental piece and I imagined the needle of a metronome as I wrote, along with the odd up beats at the repeat and at the ending.
Anacrusis means either note(s) before the downbeat or unstressed syllable(s) not counted in the meter. So it refers to something that precedes the formal beginning. How does this play out in your poem? Are these (ll &: ll) signals of repetition? The meaning must stem from the line WE converts to I and A sound swings WE back to home etc. Is that a reference to music returning to home key? Well, I like the sheer command of language in this poem: it's precise and forceful but I just can't connect the pieces
Hi Daniel. This was an experimental bit of writing. Anacrusis and refer to upbeats or kind of extra notes in both poetry and music (as you already know) . I tried to experiment with this idea in writing this poem. While writing I imagined the needle of a metronome going back and forth with a world of time going on between each swing...with We on one side and I (alone) on the other. Not sure if it worked exactly, but was a fun experiment all the same. Yes, I used some musical notation on this one, though was a bit limited...
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
It is interesting that adherence to a beat or stress pattern is associated with aloneness of the I. From an ornamental, unstressed note begins the merging of patterns that carries the WE into new melodic territory. I have heard something like this in when melodies of flute and harpsichord flutter around each other in Bach's duets.