At Least I've Tried Poem by Orlando Belo

There is nothing left to do or say,
I've done my best in every way.
I've tried to live as a decent man,
and be as honourable, as I can.

I've tried to be honest in all I do,
be loyal, dependable, and trustworthy to.
I have worked relentlessly all my life,
and tolerated an unfaithful wife.

I was full of ambition as a younger man,
but doors never opened the way they can.
Somehow the sun didn't shine down on me,
wrong time, wrong place, wasn't meant to be.

According to her, I never did earn enough,
which made her social life exceedingly tough.
Her clothes, shoes, hair, and beauty creams,
were most important, and not at all extreme.

With me rarely having anything new to wear,
I managed with second hand or charity fair.
A night out for me? There was no chance of that.
she had the social life, whilst I baby sat.

My children's education lacked full-support,
because of their mother's selfish thoughts.
She managed to amass huge credit card debts,
and this couldn't be, under the carpet swept.

Bailiffs came in and completely emptied the home,
power was cut off, along with the water, and phone.
My father-in-law said our debts he would pay,
if she destroyed the credit cards right away.

She promised and lied, and life got worse,
and still there was nothing left in her purse.
Credit cards again became her magic wand,
debts grew ever higher, and way beyond.

I worked all the hours that were heaven sent,
but the more I earned the more she spent.
I was trapped in a circle of torment and pain,
and felt my inadequacies were to blame.

A sure way out would be to go missing at sea,
I would escape her and all the misery.
Tomorrow I'll go to work in the usual way,
but catch the ferry boat across to Calais.