Attention. Elvis Alert. Poem by Thomas Vaughan Jones

I was sitting at the traffic lights
and looking straight ahead;
I was pumping up the motor for
the traffic lights were red,
Then I caught a little movement
in the corner of my eye.
When I turned my head to check it out
I thought that I might die.
I put my foot down on the gas
and left that awful scene,
I never even noticed if
the traffic lights were green.

It was Elvis! Really! ELVIS!

He was looking mighty cute,
sort of smooth and suave
and sexy,
and amazingly hirsute.
He came driving up beside me
in a brand new Cadillac,
When I offered him a weak salute,
He smiled and waved right back.
I was dazed at such a wonder,
so I didn't even see
that another apparition had come
sneaking up on me.
My heart was hardly beating,
and it almost stopped with fright
when behind me came strange noises
And a blinding flashing light.

I was overcome with horror!
when I pulled up to a stop
for approaching my rear mirror
came a dreaded traffic cop.
He looked real kind!
and gentle!
Like a cop's supposed to be,
but I couldn't stop from cringing
as those glasses looked through me

Well!

He never stopped to notice that
my face was drawn and white.
He had the nerve to ask me why
I'd jumped a traffic light.
He heard my explanation and
he didn't even blink;
He asked if I'd been smoking grass,
or had too much to drink.
He wouldn't even listen,
he just wrote me out a ticket,
so I got a wee bit angry,
and I told him where to stick it.
I've never dreamed of taking drugs
and never drink and drive
I've told them all, stuck in this jail;
King Elvis is ALIVE.