Stug Jordan

Rookie - 0 Points (18-8-81 / Norfolk, UK)

August Night - Poem by Stug Jordan

On an august night, a half-rain
stumbles glass; the child-bride,
in a bruise of love, endures her pain;
her eyes obscenities as she cries.

And there in flesh, the newborn;
animal of agony, cruelly evicted
from paradise, a shape of a smile torn
from its face as if convicted

of ante-natal crime – they lay broken
on the rippled-white, with crimson tears
where dead whispers, half-spoken
lie to her face, and undo her years.

Comments about August Night by Stug Jordan

  • Amanda Norton (4/27/2007 4:35:00 PM)

    This poems title got my attention for that is the month of my birthday.... I love it.. it is very descriptive and unfortunatly has a familar ring to it (personally) .. so I can relate... which makes me love it all the more.... (Report)Reply

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  • Always Fine (4/21/2007 1:50:00 PM)

    Brilliant language, excellent poem! IG x (Report)Reply

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  • Sean Godley (4/18/2007 10:50:00 AM)

    Excellent write, Stug - great use of language and images; both evocative and slightly disturbing. Sean (Report)Reply

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  • Gina Onyemaechi (4/17/2007 4:12:00 PM)

    '...bruise of love...', '...animal of agony cruelly evicted / from paradise...' '...ante-natal crime...' '...lie to her face, undo her years' - power language.

    'Rhymeless' (inconspicuous yet heavy-impact) rhyme as well.

    A tour de force, no more, no less.

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  • Scarlett Treat (4/17/2007 2:30:00 PM)

    Sad poem, depicting a very harsh reality of life...the child bride...bringing forth the child conceived in pain and suffering... (Report)Reply

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  • Original Unknown Girl (4/16/2007 10:17:00 AM)

    Is this your birth you're depicting here Stug? Sounds primal, though childbirth is, sure she's gotten over it by now though, unless you were a big baby of course! ! LOL! Interesting piece Mr Leo! HG: -) xx (Report)Reply

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Poem Submitted: Friday, April 13, 2007

Poem Edited: Monday, February 14, 2011

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