Buy Gum - Poem by Ima Ryma
I am janitor at a school
That was convinced to make a move.
Kids should chew more gum. That's the rule,
Because it makes math scores improve.
Repetitious moves of the jaw
Stimulates that part of the brain
That figures out math - blah, blah, blah.
All that hype just gives me a pain.
I tell you it's a heap of crap,
And where did this study come from,
With all these experts' gums aflap?
It was funded by Wrigley Gum.
The gum the little Einsteins chew,
I get to scrape the residue.
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