Buy Gum Poem by Ima Ryma

I am janitor at a school
That was convinced to make a move.
Kids should chew more gum. That's the rule,
Because it makes math scores improve.
Repetitious moves of the jaw
Stimulates that part of the brain
That figures out math - blah, blah, blah.
All that hype just gives me a pain.
I tell you it's a heap of crap,
And where did this study come from,
With all these experts' gums aflap?
It was funded by Wrigley Gum.

The gum the little Einsteins chew,
I get to scrape the residue.