I'm a child at war
My village is torn
My family's gone
And my friends are gone
Woke up in a room, was out real long
I was in pain the pain made me groan
Murder, maniacs, and mayhem made my mood
knew my village was attacked
the terrorist must of cut me slack
maybe they thought I went flat
I wanna change this wish I could go back
heart stopping footsteps and viscous voices outside roaming round
I can't move my body is paralyzed and pained
the door opens hope I'm seeing the light cause i just died
a man in a uniform comes through with a gun
too bad I was paralyzed and couldn't run
could of played dead but he heard me whimper sounded more like a retarded hum
I was in pain and crying at the same time
wondering what my fate was gonna become
a situation brought out very well...your poem makes it very live...the helplessness, the pain all of it
Nice use of imagery, fits well with the content. One little thing I would recommend is maybe just making sure that your work is gramatically correct, such as using commas to make your sentences clearer and flow better. For example, changing 'I wanna change this wish I could go back' to 'I wanna change this, wish I could go back'. All in all, another very good piece and I hope to hear more from you.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
ppl write the way they wanna write dont let ppl tell u ur doin it wrong this my favorite poem keep on writin