Fidelis Patronus


Poem by Fidelis Patronus

Christians you believe in something I cannot
There is no logic or reason
Just thought
Like the weather changes its seasons
So do my decisions

I wish I could believe in a blind religion
But I can only believe
If there is an understandable equation

To see you with such certain
That it is all true
It creates such a burden
I think my life is being screwed

I wish I could tell myself
Everything will be all right
That hate will be on a shelf
Never to see the light

I go to youth
Where I put on my disguise
A Jesus fish
Now they can’t despise

I wish I had no fear like the Christians
They are held in God’s arms
Forever in oblivion
Safe with no harms

I fear that I do not fear enough
But again I cannot believe anything without reason or logic
It is like Math and science

it makes sense
Yet it can also equal death

God smites us
Jesus died for us
And the spirit takes our souls from us
Death is related in all of thus

Live to die
Die to live
Poor to be rich
Rich to be poor

Freedom of choice
Our gift
Some how though this choice
Doomed us all to hell

Deny me and be doomed!
Is what He says
One who loves us so much
Hates the fact we live

Die Die Die!
You are mine!
Here in heaven
Perfect for you and me
There is no decision
Your life is over!
To forever worship me!
On your knees for eternity!

Comments about Christian by Fidelis Patronus

  • Fidelis Patronus (10/23/2006 12:55:00 PM)

    I'm back! ! ! My name was hellp because my mother found my poems and back tehn i had poems that were alot more intense. about suicide, religion, and sex. My mom banned me from the site and made me delet all my poems. (my mom and family r VERY strong christians) i changed my name and deleted only some of my poems. My name was hellp cuz i felt like i was in hell and i REALLY needed help. i was so scared. I'v never been on the website for years and then i got an email today that sed i hada comment on one of my poems...i read all of the commments i missed and it totally inspired me to continue my poetry. I changed my name and i will try 2 pick up where i left off...i havn't written poetry since i got caught...thankyou so much for ur support(Report)Reply

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  • Mechelle Schloss (9/21/2005 10:54:00 AM)

    Thank you for being so honest and thoughtful. I loved the line about dressing up in the fish costume to be accepted. Shows depth of knowledge and discernment. My comment is that I like that you are willing to not let 'religion' keep you from wrestling with God. Stay honest. Please stay honest- even in the face of imminent rejection.

    Now for my 2 cents (you did say, Help! ! ! ! !) - God is not 'dooming us', he is allowing us to chose to not be with Him. Unfortunatley, His absence equates the worst kind of hell.
    Even the worst, most horrific moments experienced by man or beast on this planet cannot compare with the gnashing eternal torment of His complete absence. We sometimes think he 'puts' us in hell and torment when hell and torment is really only the absence of His presence. Even death can be glorious if He is present. I think of all the saints who sang hyms to God while the lions ripped their flesh and the flesh of their children. They weren't blind. They saw far beyond their circumstance into a paradise only one heartbeat away from their current horror. And one of the main reasons they cancelled the ever popular 'Blood Sports' in Rome is because of the singing martyrs who eased the masses desire for blood and horror. Okay, that was a tangent. Sorry

    Your struggle with the paradoxes of faith. Awesome. I love it. Keep wrestling. Don't release your hold until He blesses you.(Report)Reply

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  • Casey Mills (3/10/2005 10:57:00 PM)

    i believe many christians, at times, have also had thoughts like yours, as a christian, i am saddened(is that a word? :)) that you are unable to believe in God but i thought it wa a beautiful poem...(Report)Reply

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  • Agata Konopka (3/9/2005 11:29:00 AM)

    blind faith in any God never held me, but I do know that I did love the community it made me a part of until I found out it was a least someone is better able to express that than I(Report)Reply

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  • Gina PrettyBrownEyes (2/19/2005 4:43:00 PM)

    inspiring. i am a christian, yet i often wonder the same things. you have a great voice.(Report)Reply

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Read poems about / on: believe, fear, weather, fish, freedom, hate, death, god, heaven, light, life, fishing, change

Poem Submitted: Thursday, December 2, 2004

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