Crazy Crazy English Poem by ROOP REKHA BHASKAR

Crazy Crazy English

Rating: 3.8


Explaining language rules to a five year old,
Can certainly be brain hacking.
I tried and cajoled,
But it only got more whacking.

I got real exasperated;
And Joan, more aggravated.
Why ‘Hand’ is singular, plural ‘Hands’
So are Trains, Cars and Trams.
But why Joan’s pretty Foot
Is not ‘Foots’ but Feet?

I’m vexed to answer why-
When I purchase, I Buy.
When tears roll, I cry.
But it is still incorrect;
If ‘Buies’ appear in a sentence;
But ‘Cries’ is correct in presence.

Anne’s dog barks and she can hear it loud and clear;
But the tree barks, is not the same to hear.
‘Bite’ is a verb and so is a ‘bark’
So here is a new saying for Bill Gates dog.
“His bark is worse than his Byte! ’

But I cannot voice why, to a learner;
The day is cold, wet, or hot.
What a hot sun! ! Is never taught!
Nor the snow is cold, or the rain is wet.
You can get into a fit, and is totally silly.
‘Cause it is true in a Simile.

Ann spelt S-I-G-H; She wrote C-L-O-N-E
But went through a storm
Explaining the norm
Cyclone is not Sighclone.

The phone is an instrument
An electronic one as that.
Then should I write a ‘Pre’ or a ‘Post’
To reschedule my plans?

Goose is to Gander, Berry is to fruit.
Gooseberry now, has a gender issue?
And so it can be true
To say Bananaberry and Grapeberry,
Because they are berries too.

I sat finally perplexed, when she asked
“Did you see a Mango on a Coconut tree! ? ”
Yes of course! She said with glee.
A Man go on a coconut tree is possible!
In India everything is adorable! !

Monday, June 15, 2015
Topic(s) of this poem: language
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Valsa George 25 June 2015

To a great extent, English is a crazy language with volatile rules! The plural of knife is knives and loaf is loaves and wife is wives, but the plural of roof is roofs! How can we fix the tense of 'I read a book' (present) and 'I read a book' (past) unless read aloud? Explaining the rules can indeed be brain hacking and sure, one will go crazy! You have beautifully brought out the intricacies of the grammar of English with a touch of humour!

1 0 Reply
Capt. Oliver Menezes 23 June 2015

The innuendos and nuances of the English language is penned and punned beautifully !! Thanks great read!

1 0 Reply
Geoffrey Fafard 19 June 2015

I love it when the sensibility of English is questioned and played with in such a humouros and questioning way.Such a fun and interesting read.Thank you.

1 0 Reply
Ging Taping 15 June 2015

Crazy but real.thanks for sharing welcome to PH world...

1 0 Reply
Ging Taping 15 June 2015

I can't help but to laugh out loud.. Very funny but it makes sense... It's hard to learn English we need to study well esp.the usage of each word.. But we are eager to learn.. How? Why? English is our International language. And by this we can face the world and communicate..

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