D (Nov.8,1986 - June 25,2005) Poem by Kate Nielsen

Your memory is pushed back in my mind always getting covered with here and now. Pushed back so far, where are you going? You were supposed to stay, to lay with me through night and day. You told me as I sat crying, you dying, lying in front of my face. The clock is racing around so slowly and you're going, going, gone. The con of it all you took my heart, It's mounted on a stone and I'm all alone. One second, two seconds, three seconds more, one memory is lost when the clock hits four. For so long now I have only waited, hated the thought that I can't find anyone better then you. You were perfect, I'm a wreck, your lips on my neck, a memory cold as ice. I roll the dice. Isn't it true that love is like gambling? If you could have gambled for your life, would you have? To die fast and painless or be with me forever, for so long? Time running, life cunning my every thought of you. I feel like I'm falling, crawling to get out of the huge hole that we both made to trap ourselves away from the world. Now it's nothing and you left me here deal, I feel the pain, the strain, my whole body's trying to recover from your absence. And yet I still find myself crying, dying, lying, that you are still here with me. But you're not.