For D Poem by Kate Nielsen

I wrote this when I was 16, I had just found out that my boyfriend at the time was diagnosed with cancer. He had just moved clear across the country because his father found a better job. I couldn't even attend his funeral.

I don't know why but I wake up with you on my mind and I miss, I want your kiss to follow me back to your car down the street to your old house where we lay outside for hours staring up at the stars, the flowers you bought for me spread around our entwined legs. And I feel your breathing, you're holding me close. You are asleep and I'm awake and no one knows and no one knows the right spots and no one could do it like you could. You were my drug, my high I will never see again feel again touch and taste. I want your face, your head against my shoulder. Your intense stare that scared me in a way that I could feel comfortable, we lived in a cage of yellow roses it could only fit two. But you left leaving thorns like barbed wire I couldn't reach out to anyone when we caught fire. You burnt to the ground, do you even exist? You were my prince now I'm left with a list of people that will never be you. one by one all getting shot till the list is empty and I'm he last one, I'm the last to die how long do I wait, do you feel the same? Is it fait? Or am I just crazy like you always told me then hugged me tightly. Your smile warmed my day and we still just lay in the blanket under the stars our legs entwined the same as before and before. You were my comfy couch, we fit just right, you're out of sight. And I sit here crying...