Ariel DeBehnke

Electroshocked - Poem by Ariel DeBehnke

I’m afraid I lost myself in the eyes of the storm, that fateful night I remember.

It was at that moment that I knew what it felt like to be struck by lightning.

My throat began to close as my heart raced, palms sweating as those nerves took over.

I saw what I wanted to see, but was rejected the happiness I felt I deserved.

My whole body shook at the electricity pulsated through my very core; shocked by electricity.

Do I worry too much? Yes, of course I do. But do you care any less because of that?

I ran as fast as my feet would let me, knowing full well that at any time I could have fallen flat on my face.

The danger of the speed I proceeded at was well worth the risk of the injury I might have sustained if I failed.

As I bolted along the beach at night, my feet leaving their prints in the sand with each motion I made, I stared at the sky.

The stars were so bright and I just stopped to enjoy them shine so high above me; my fatal mistake.

No, I don’t think I was wrong to watch the sky. The storm was so beautiful, dancing above me and yelling at the top of its lungs.

I couldn’t have asked for more perfect chaos. The waves thrashed and struggled with each other.

It was as if the storm was like me in every way, reflecting how I felt inside.

The thunder roared at me, the one intruder in its perfect performance, unplanned that I was there to witness it.

I fell to my knees and screamed back at the sky, cursing it for all that had gone wrong in my life.

I screamed and screamed until my lungs ran out of air, until my voice grew hoarse, until I could barely see.

As much as I tried, I was no match for the sky. It roared and thrashed above me and I just lied on my back to watch.

Upset by my fight for dominance, the angry skies sent down a bolt of lightning and stabbed me in the heart.

At this moment, I knew it was over for me. A single tear slipped from my eye and I smiled.

I had won in the end. All I had wanted was a chance to see the stars shine and the sky fight.

I had seen what I came to see and I was more than pleased. The storm was beautiful.

Though my eyes felt dry, I found I could not close them. The dancing sky had me captivated.

No, I know I worry too much about what turns the storms will take. But it’s who I am.

I chase these scenes of disaster until these chaotic and disastrous beauties turn on me.

Is it wrong for me to chase these storms? I don’t think so. I would lie on my back in the sand all day and let the waves sweep me out to sea.

I’d float away with the current, deprived of all necessities. And there I would spend my final days, at peace with myself and the world.

And as I would sink, I would stare up at those angry colors above me and smile; because true beauty only comes once in a million skies.

But that dream is far from my reach. As much as I charge into the sea, it only brings me back to land and safety.

So here I lay on the beach, the waves creeping along my feet, inching closer and closer to danger, yet they never carry me to my grave.

The sky I’m watching is angry and disturbed; the reason why I am here in the first place.

I watch it roar and spit out the lightning and I smile softly, the tears falling from my eyes.

As long as I am here, I will stay here and watch the sky fight. I will wait to be carried out to sea, where I will be lost forever. I hope for nothing less.

But as soon as the night falls and the daytime returns, I am nothing, lying on the sand dead as dead can be.

For I wait for the night to breathe the life back into me and restore the chaos to my life. Because under this sky, I can be who I was meant to be.

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Poem Submitted: Monday, February 15, 2010

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