Enumeration Of Deficiencies Poem by Uriah Hamilton

I seek humility
sauntering in the night rain
praying for homeless souls,
stray and abused dogs,
and for the long dead.

The provision of my existence
is a diet of plain bread
and meaningful words,
as well as a memory of tears
for my midnight water.

After a certain age,
suffering is understood
even if personally and physically spared;
the eyes have seen and the heart felt
the infirm grasp of a hand
and the slow and painful gait
of someone we love
approaching celestial shores.

Sermons speak of abundant peace
but it seems superfluous and myth-like,
utterly detached from the experiences of life
and the daily accumulations
of abandonment and hurt.

I once thought I had holy designs,
sacred thoughts and an innocent mind;
but I replay in constant repeat
every incident in which I've been unkind
to another.

I'm hoping God, the universe,
or simply death
will be merciful
but I expect an inevitable stay in Hades
regardless if it failed to exist
just prior to my arrival.

Sometimes you meet someone
entirely sincere and uncorrupted;
it's a portent and a mystery
for inexplicable spiritual realms.

Have you ever been kissed
by an assumed enemy
you've spent years teaching yourself to despise
to discover they've long forgotten
injuries of the past?

The days continue for mourning
and the enumeration of deficiencies
for which I just can't forgive myself.