Every Nightly Thought Poem by Alaina B.

I'm so tired, but I'm scared to fall asleep
Most nights, I want to fall asleep and never wake up
But I'm scared of what happens if I don't
I don't want to ever wake up again
But people are expecting me to
I still have things to do
Promises to fulfill
Sleep promises a world of the unknown
I can't do that on my own
I've never done anything on my own before
Do this, do that
Every step so guided
Sometimes I feel misguided

Some people make it sound so easy
Give it a try, go for it, I dare you
I tried once or twice
I always woke up
I'm not invincible
If anything, I'm invisible
Wrestling with my thoughts
Fall asleep and not wake up
I dare you
I dare you
I dare you

Please don't dare me
You want me to, so I probably will
Because I do what I'm told
Because I've never done anything alone
I'm scared, but I will
You don't even have to tell me
Because I know I'll give it a try
I've done it before and I've failed
It seems like I'm always failing
Who took my safety railing?

My eyelids are heavy and my soul is tired
But my limbs are jittery and my thoughts are wired
I don't want to close my eyes
It's so funny how time flies
It was nighttime and it is still
But it's also morning
Funny how that works
I think I want to wake up tomorrow
If only because I'm scared