Finding Graves No More Poem by Jessel Jane Tevar Toring

Silence was uneasy for a moment
for my soul was deranged.
Harrowed up to the greatest degree
I was racked with eternal torment.
In my heart, a silhouette of death I see;
blinding darkness carried me
to the grave which I have dug for me.
No candles, no flowers... just darkness,
mere darkness where shadows were
suppressed and quietude - a stranger;
for despite the stillness of silence
was the mourning of my soul...
that brought me to the brim of sorrow.
It was in my cold and silent grave that I wept
and shed the tears that drenched
my heart that once was brave.

Harrowed up with the memories of my sins
I dug and dug, so as to find
those sins that I buried long ago
and take them out - they burden my heart
with the burden that I could not carry anymore.
But lo, I could find them no more!
Again, I dug - I'm sure I buried them
somewhere in my heart.
And all I found were devoid parts;
for how it happened, I never knew.
And then for a sudden...
a melody played in my heart
that brought me tears of pain or joy
I never was certain, as the words
of the song was in my heart written:

'I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me.
Confused at the grace that so fully He proffers me.
I tremble to know that for me He was crucified,
that for me a sinner He suffered, He bled and died.
Oh it is wonderful that He should care for me,
enough to die for me.
Oh it is wonderful, wonderful to me.'

He took away those graves in my heart with His blood.
I thought of any way to repay Him-
of something to offer that I have.
Yet I have nothing but my heart...
and my broken heart I give -
hoping, still hoping that he would receive.