For Awhile, Just A Little While Poem by David Knox

For awhile, just a little while I feel pain
The temptations and trials don't seem to end, I'm literally going insane
It's overwhelming
But forever always forever I have strength
And I know I'm loved and that He's gone to every length
Just to let me know
That He loves me so
Your presence and your love, it doesn't numb the pain, it takes it away
It's overwhelming

But for awhile, just a little while I feel loss
I can't separate myself from my failures, they feel burned across
My face
My fleshly tendencies
My addictions and sin (so called) dependencies
My mark of shame and disgrace
But forever always forever I have an identity
One that is greater than even me
One that isn't based on circumstance
One that transcends happen-stance
Somehow I'm a son
I don't know how it's done
Somehow my shame is turned to glory
Somehow disgrace is replaced with grace
Somehow all the shortcomings make a story
Of repentance and redemption to replace
Somehow my dependency changes
Somehow at the end of it all I'm only dependent on You

But for awhile, just a little while
I'm searching for purpose, as sin and distractions defile
I'm searching for the point, for the meaning
Everything around me is so demeaning
It sucks away anything I thought I was made for
Tell me I'm inadequate, incapable, something to abhor
Amidst, terror, purposeless, confusion, and loss, how can I ever smile?
I can't live like this, not even for awhile
It's indescribable

But for forever, always forever
I know You love me
I know You have a plan for me even though I can't see
I know where to find my purpose, I felt empty but now I overflow
The thought never crossed my mind, because to know
You give me my meaning, You're what I'm made for
You're what completes me, body and soul, my heart, my very core
There is no terror and no fear
In You there's no sorrows, no heartbreak, not even a tear
Though my heart does long
And my feelings go astray
None of that's from You, it's not always and not forever, it won't stay
But You'll stay, You'll keep me strong
Thank You, because You're better than a smile
You are pure joy, You give me pure joy, now that's worthwhile
So forever, always forever this is who I am, my identity
This is eternal life, all of this is Your gift to me
It's indescribable

Thank You for the always and for the forever, this is true life
But for awhile, just a little while, this is what I call my life.